Part II

You asked me tonight if the feeling was mutual
or somewhat similiar
When I asked myself the question
The answer came out clear
but not concrete

I know what I want
I know what I need
But I'm afraid the answer would just
blow your mind like a strong gust

I don't want to make the confusion any worse then it already is
I'll try to be gentle and write you this
yet another poem but it's the way I know
and the only way I can really make it show

What I want whole heartedly is you
'til the day you tell me to fuck off or my bridges are burned
I'll be on you like I was covered in glue

A feeling I can't identify nor control is
slowly rising in power by the day
Perhaps only time will show me a way
To kill the feeling once and for all

The feeling itself is not envy nor jelousy
But You say his name and I cover in fear
I see my cave and I know it can grant me shelter
I can't explain or make the point anymore clear

These words aren't half of what they should be
There's something blocking me
A thought, few words, a phrase I hold so dear
Is it right of me to feel this fear

There are no rules in love and war
Only those who give it all and those who do more
For so long have I stood by the side and done nothing at all
This time I give it my all, starting this fall.

I'm not here to fight a war I can't win
My thoughts are many so my vision is thin
I may have missed a sign somewhere along the road
Show me a sign and I'll raise the white flag

I miss you more by the minute that goes by
Hearing you say how you miss me
brings hope to this restless soul of mine
I just can't seem to understand
somethings in life
no matter how hard I try
memories from before just keeps driving by

I know I can trust you I just need it confirmed
What we said back then was it all just for show
I'm just as confused as you but the subject's not the same
if I don't find the answer I might go insane

I try to make every day slide by
But somethings hit me like a fork in the eye
now you know what I have on my mind
lend me a hand I'm walking here blind

What I'm trying to say is I miss you girl
The feelings I get when I see your face
So pretty, so full of grace
I just feel to old to participate in another chase

I miss the nights when I could feel your warmth
Your head on my shoulder and your hand so close to mine
I'd give anything to feel it again some time

I told you today how special you are
You are the first to know all those things I said
besides myself and those it concern
No more games, No more plays
This time it's real no matter what anyone else says

I give you a promise tonight
if I'm forced I'll be there to fight
I'll give it all I got and then some more
Cause there ain't a chance in hell I will lose a war

All these words may seem useless and empty
But in the end it's just me trying to defeat the enemy inside
my notorious mind playing these tricks
trying to bring me down and fold under it's will

Give me the strength I need to proceed
Give me a sign it's still true what we both agreed
So I can put my mind to the test
and finally get a good nights rest...

I may have said it before but I'll say it again
Girl, I miss you.....

Voila

History repeats itself

will I ever learn?

Is it the same as before

but with a twisted turn?

I ask myself this

amongst many things

Did I learn my lesson

or will I do the same misstake twice?

Have you ever stopped and wondered

Is this the way it's meant to be

Is this the path that I've chosen

my lifes a record stuck on repeat?

I've been here before and I took a wrong turn

I made a bad move and look where it's gone

The one I used to know

The one I used to love

Has turned into a stranger but we're not that far apart

I know I may be confusing

I know it for a fact

It's a part of who I am

and not a simple act

I really wish I could tell you

what I really want

But isn't it enough that you

stalk me in my sleep?

There hasn't been a night ever since

where you havn't been a ghost of my mind

Perhaps there are clues

but I have turned blind

I made a promise to myself a few years ago

Never to be broken even tho

Sometimes I know I should

But what if I did

Would it make me do things I otherwise never would?

I wish I knew, I really do

When I think of you

Do you think of me too?
I hope you do with all my heart

Too bad there's a barrier keeping us apart

It has taken me some time

To find these words

But now that I lay here in my bed

dreaming, wishing, thinking

They all seem lost

I give you the hand and I keep it open

You made me repair a part

I thought was broken

I give you my trust without any cost

Lets hope it isn't wasted and lost

Feeling your heartbeat

hearing your voice.

Seeing you smile

leaves me without a choice

I'm drowning here

someone give me a hand

When I'm near you

it's hard just to stand

I've told you this before but I'll say it again

I will always see you as one true friend

No matter where the road goes

No matter what we do

I'll never forgive myself if I lose you

My options are minimal but I'll do what feels best

Been here before and that time I failed the test

I lost a friend who I'd give it all

Only because my mind was narrow and the path to small

I wonder what I've done to deserve such a story

perhaps one day it'll be filled with gold and glory

I thought I found it the day I met you

But I seem to struggle to get all the way through

The one who could help me

I believe it's you

You've helped me in ways words can't describe

I guess it was enough to have you by my side

You're mysterious in so many ways

I wish I could tell you but there aren't enough days

Time is running out but I'm standing still

Even if it is against your will

My barricades are rising will you get here in time

Or will I be alone punished for my crime

Time is running out but my feelings remain

Even though I'll probably just end up insane

Been here before but I took the easy way out

Leave her behind without a doubt

When I look back today and I know what went wrong

I know I'll just keep going

The feelings are that strong

What faith has in store for me I do not know

but if there's any hope please let it show

Or I'll toss in the towel right here and now

Go on with my life and ask myself why

There are a ton of things to say

I just need the words

Havn't found them all to this very day

I can sum them up to baby please just stay.